Heartbroken

This isn't really the type of "love letter" you normally get, but I thought I would contribute to all of your fairytale stories that I wish I could relate to. Maybe one day it will happen.This isn't really the type of "love letter" you normally get, but I thought I would contribute to all of your fairytale stories that I wish I could relate to. Maybe one day it will happen.

Story originally posted by Horsecity.com Staff

This isn’t really the type of "love letter" you normally get, but I thought I would contribute to all of your fairytale stories that I wish I could relate to. Maybe one day it will happen.

I’m thirteen and have been riding for 5 years. I know that’s not much compared to most people on this site, but it’s a lot to me, and its enough time for me to realize that I have a gift and this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I started riding in the fourth grade for a Christmas present, but it wasn’t on my Christmas List. What I really wanted was a horse.

It’s every little girl’s dream to have a pony, some people grow out of it, but others like me never will. So I started taking privates and after a year I started showing. I was in love. I had finally found something I was good at. My third year of showing I won the division for the whole year. It was the best feeling in the world.

I guess if you play soccer, its like winning the tournament so your team will go to Nationals and it was because of your winning goal. It was awesome. I was physched, I didn’t even know I won till almost the end of the year and my trainer told me I was in first place so far. Until then I just taken every show at a time and just had fun with my friends.

Once I started Short Stirrup was when we started looking for a horse I guess. We weren’t really looking but when there were ponies at the barn that were for sale I would try them out. The first horse I every tried was Clover. It was in the sixth grade, and it was like a revolution to me. It was a dream come true in a way, cause I sorta felt like I was getting her no matter what. Well that wasn’t the case, she had hock problems and became lame and never got better. I had her "for sale" picture in my locker that whole year. She was such a cute pony.

But then I moved on, and just continued to ride the school horses and the ponies that were giving people trouble. So then in the seventh grade another pony came along Chessie. I really loved her. I leased her for at least 4 or 5 months and had really gotten attached to her. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I had it in my mind that she was the horse for me, because that summer I went to Florida with my family and the hotel we stayed at was called the Chesapeake, which was Chessie’s real name. That didn’t happen either. Her hock problems came back and now she’s retired to the pasture. Once again, I was heartbroken.

I was agitated that I couldn’t find a horse. It became almost a tradition every Christmas after the one when I was eight I had asked for a horse, every birthday too. And I always had imagined that I would wake up Christmas morning and I would look in the driveway and there would be a horse in a trailer. But unfortunatly I don’t think that will ever happen. So here comes eighth grade year. I was already depressed because my best friend had moved all the way to Washington, D.C. and I knew that we would drift apart and it would never be the same. And then my trainer had found a horse for me, Balmy.

Oh wait, I forgot I did try out two horses in-between Chessie and Balmy, they were Jamie and Romeo. Jamie and I just did not clique, he was not the horse for me. I hated it that my trainer would not get over the fact that I did not like him and she kept putting me on him. But then I tried out Romeo. He was a dream horse. One of those really fancy pretty horses you only wish you had but know you could never afford. I really liked him, like a lot. Who couldn’t? He was the type of horse that you could not ride for almost a year, and take him to a show and then win the whole thing. I thought that was perfect for me, but my trainer convinced me that wasn’t what I wanted. So once again, when I came home that day, I locked myself in my room and cried for about an hour. I’m the type of person that when I start to cry, all my troubles come out and I just cry for hours.

Now to Balmy. I tried out Balmy at least a couple of months after I tried Jamie and Romeo. I actually wasn’t supposed to try him out. It was at the summer and I had Prix horses and he wasn’t good enough but she just kept him and then didn’t have enough money to keep him so she had to sell him. I rode him the next day and was in love. He was so sweet, if he were human, he’d be the perfect boyfriend. It wasn’t like he was something you rode on or whatever, he became my friend, my companion. Horsebackriding has always been therapy for me to take away all my troubles, and now it was even better. I rode him everyday for about two weeks, because the vet couldn’t come out any sooner to vet him. That’s a long time, and I became very attached to him. In my opinion he was perfect for me at the time. Since he was still green over fences he wasn’t like Romeo where I could not ride for awhile and just go to a show and win. I didn’t want that any more, I wanted something a little green, something to have fun with. Balmy was just that. Even his name is cute: Balmy’s Encounter. The last time I rode him, was just hours after he was vetted and we hadn’t gotten the results from the x-rays yet. I fell off twice in that lesson, but somehow was still in love with him. I had total trust in him, and you could tell I loved him because whenever I was on his back or just grooming him I was glowing.

The next day was horrible, it was the day the test results came back, I was so nervous. I didn’t get home that day till around 5 because I had cheerleading. On the way home I asked my mom what the results were, she said told me everything. I had to look out the window just so I wouldn’t burst into tears. I didn’t want her to see me cry. I hate it when people see me cry. He had Founder’s Disease and his back hocks were rotated. There’s more, he had such bad arthritis in his back legs that two joints had grown together, and the vet said after one or two years I wouldn’t be able to ride him. So like always, once I got home, I ran upstairs and locked my door, blast the music and cried for two hours.

All my friends at the barn have horses. It hurts. Its like I’m at school, and I’m an outcast. The only good thing that came out of this was that his owner found out about all his problems, and hopefully he will live a good life out in a pasture grazing all day long. A couple of days ago I went out and said my goodbyes and gave him some treats. I’m surprised I didn’t burst into tears, but like always I guess I just kept it in.

So now, my nights are spent on the computer looking for a horse, its really sad. I guess it’s back to the school horses. Like I said, I know this isn’t exactly a love story, but it is to me. I loved all those horses, and even though it isn’t like all the rest of the fairytales that are in here, but now there’s one that hopefully some people can relate to and if their older than me and wiser than me, they can tell me that I will find the first horse for me.. someday.

God Bless,

Amy
South Carolina, USA